I am just a Player

I asked my dad once, when I was in my school days, dad what’s the problem with these gals why don’t they understand what we want to say, what do you want to say he asked, I said ……….nothing dad , its just that I want to say something but I am scared , which means you haven’t said it yet, well yes I said. So go ahead and say it , and let me know what was the reply you got, and I did, I think my dad knew more about the situation then I have ever known, Later on I told my dad I had said what I had to say , who is the girl he asked , I told him about her, so what did you tell her, well I asked her if she would be my friend, I could see my dads face , he had that boring kind of. look on his face, may be he had expected something bolder from his son, but what to do his son was not as talented as he himself was, or may be he was not trained enough to be good, anyways he didn’t say even a word after that . Gave me best wishes and continued what he was doing on his study table. My mind was busy trying to prepare those question which I had to ask him, and he knew there was something coming, he stopped doing what he was doing looked at me and asked what is wrong son , you want something , I said no, dad but I want to ask you something, he smiled and patiently sat down besides me , asked for some tea , my mom said will be ready in few minutes, we were sitting in his study room with all kinds of books spread all over paces , at least I had learnt something from him, to be as dishevelled as he was. So what’s the question? He asked. I didn’t know if I should be asking it or not , but I gathered some strength and asked, dad we are going out on Sunday only two of us, and I don’t know what to do ,how to treat her. Don’t try to impress her he said, I was confused I though girls wanted to be with us cause they were impressed , no they are not its better if you be what you are, he said. What you mean by that, I asked.
Well just be who you are don’t pretend , be polite and take care of her, let her have her freedom of choice, ask her where she wants to go, and decide upon a place where you both are comfortable going. When you eat something ask for her approval if she wants it or not, I found it foolish to ask everything before I did it, dad should I ask her before I kiss her, I was shocked that I had asked this question so was my dad, but he didn’t , he said go with the flow sunny, go with the flow. If it has to happen it will happen don’t force it. You will know if she wants it, she will tell you. We had some more of these talks then I said thank you and went to my room. I went with her on Sunday and came back with not so happy face, my dad asked so how did it go, She didn’t ask me to kiss her, I said, hearing that he started laughing and I was feeling bad and my dads laughter made it worse, he looked at me and realized that his laughter was not having a good effect on me, he stopped and told me , see they don’t tell you, women never tell, they show you the way, they guide you, they don’t tell, they help you reach there, they don’t direct, it is you who has to be a good listener, its you who has to be a good student because when it comes to this they are your gurus and remember that my son.I heard what he said, probably I never understood what he meant until I started listening, and listening to not what is said but also what is not, listening to the body movement, to the gestures, overall it was just magic that I had started listening and from that date I have never ever gone back to my dad bothering him with my questions. My experience with life has been a very pleasant one I have had lots of gurus teach me a lot about what I wanted to know and as time has passed by I have evolved into a good listener and it has helped me a lot.

I was a short distance runner when I started but now its totally different I run looking at the pitch , if the pitch wants me to bat with a run rate of 10 runs per over I do that and if it is a slow pitch I bat slow. But you will have to learn to know a lot about learning how to listen. It is rightly said “everybody gets what he deserves, in time. Only if he knows how to wait.” I have learnt and I am still learning, I believe I will always be a student and I am proud of the feeling that I will always be one, JUST A player.



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