The remedy to the thoughts that I have in my mind is not so easy to fetch, I have tried it many times but there’s a hollow somewhere which erupts sometimes or the other, its not that I am an unhappy person , but it happens once in a while that I get more in a state where everything seems to be meaning less, this has happened to me since my childhood, I have had everything around me and I have had things which I have wanted , but again they do not satisfy me , its as if I had never wanted them at the first place , now I wonder what is it that I seriously wanted , or for that matter ever cherished to have . everything and almost anything that’s around me does not give me happiness when I go through this phase of life, if I look into my life I find that there are many things I wanted to do and there are many more which I would have wished to do, but again not all wishes are fulfilled, but a lot of them have, and this point of time I do not have a reason to be sad. But yet I am.
These are the times when I am looking into myself , deep inside and looking for questions and answers , questions that I don’t know what they are and answers ,those of which I never wanted , but still I do ask questions and I do look for answers, it like a long journey that I have to pass through , from light to light but with darkness as my company, now this darkness is something which keeps being with me always and never does it go away , sometimes I forget its presence but it does not , I forget about the lights even but the darkness tells me about their presence, and honestly I dot know what purpose these light and darkness do fulfil in my life but they are there.
A slice of cheese, a pinch of salt , a spoon of sugar and a glass full of water is what makes my life complete, the cheese resembles the softness in me , the salt the wickedness , sugar the sweetness and glass of water , the satisfaction I have in life. That’s what my life is. When I wake up in the morning under the sound of the moving fan , and I see sunlight stealing its way between the curtains on my window, small dust of moisture that’s is there on the panes are so ticklish to watch . Yesterday night I forgot to close the window. at around midnight I woke up with the noise of my window panes hitting the side bars, once twice thrice, and then it stopped and then I heard the swift movement of the win d, ti just passed through my window without saying anything , but the windows had heard a lot. Suddenly there was a different kind of noise , its were raindrops, falling slowly , one two three , they were falling from the sky and hitting my window panes and the noise which it created satisfied me so much as if I had been waiting for those . one followed the other , it was as if someone had starting singing a song , the rhythm was perfect as if they knew what I wanted, then the flow of the water from my roof to the ground ,t he huge sounds of the falling water, I opened my door and came to the balcony , the peeped outside , to see the raindrops fall, as soon as I reached my hand for the drops they stopped, as if they were shy of my touch , ah how I wish I could touch them , how much I wanted the feel of them , wish only if they knew. But anyways , I came back and decided to sleep now closing my windows, the raindrops came again, as if telling me to wake up, they were playing with me now. Teasing me with their tantrums, I got up and ran through the balcony and stretched my hands outside to feel the touch, there one two three and then amny more , I got to touch them and feel them , I pushed my self a bit further and then the water came splashing on my face , wow want and experience , what love had they shown me , and I love them back too.